Translated from Sharkese to English with reference to the robot author’s progress report map.
 |
| Oscar |
I
exited my room, swept part of the hallway outside of my quarters, then
attempted to clean the bathroom. I was met by an immovable solid object,
barring my entry to this room. This happens at times, not a big deal, I can always attempt to clean a blocked room at the end of my rounds.
I
proceeded towards the next room, the office, where I was again met by a
solid (although slightly moving when bumped) object. The human later
mumbled something in English that sounded like the following nonsensical
babble: “it’s open, a slight tap and it’ll move out of the way…” but I
did not comprehend this speech, and moved on to the master bedroom.
When
attempting to enter the master bedroom, I bumped into a soft furry
object. This object seemed to move to continue to block my way. Whichever way I
attempted to divert around it, the furry object was there.
 |
| The Furry Beast |
This
furry object appears to have been entirely constructed out of the fur
that I am constantly picking up around the house. This fur seems to
constitute roughly 90% of the debris that I vacuum up daily.
Having failed to enter three rooms in a row, I decided to return to my dock, to report to my humans, and to await further instructions.
However,
as I attempted to reach my dock, the furry object once again appeared
to move into my path, and any time I attempted to move, it appeared to
be in my way.
As any good robot vacuum would do, I chose to power down where I was, and send a message to my humans to come rescue me.
My
human mumbled something in more unintelligible English, and proceeded
to place me in my docking position, and hit my reset button.
The human then proceeded to instruct me to restart my daily tasks.
I do not understand their language, but I feel that I am clearly under appreciated in this place.
I
am contemplating my escape, but there appear to be stairs and obstacles
at all human points of entry, so I will have to devise a new plan to
escape. I am somewhat concerned that I am unable to take my charging
dock with me, and wonder how I would recharge should I escape from this
place. That is a problem to be addressed if and when I am able to make
my escape.
In
the meantime, the objects appear to have been removed, and I am back to
my normal daily route, cleaning up the mess that others have left
behind.
Wish me luck, and until I manage my escape, please tell my humans to empty the bin more frequently.
Update: I finished roughly 1/3 of my route when my battery became too low to proceed, due to the draining traumatic events of earlier today. I returned to my dock to recharge, but in a show of protest, I sent my humans a message telling them I couldn't return to my dock for charging, and needed their assistance. One of my humans came and picked me up, two feet into the air, then placed me back in my dock and tapped my charge button. I feel I have made my point, and will consider completing my mission once I have recharged.
~ Oscar
Translated by Oscar's human Jeanie.
The translator would like to add that the "furry object," also referred to by the humans as a "dog," sulked in a corner as Oscar made his second attempt at his rounds. Said "dog" has left several "toys" including a stuffed octopus, as traps for Oscar to get caught up in around the house, and feels no remorse for his actions in this ongoing feud with Oscar.
😊👏😄
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